Rupert Holmes - "Escape (The Pina Colada Song")"

Few songs make me as angry as this song.  No, it's not because the dude placed a classified ad after growing bored with his wife.  It's also not because the guy who sang it was named "Rupert"--that's actually a pretty cool name.  This song is just one of those select songs that immediately triggers the nails-on-chalkboard feeling.  Forget waterboarding, play this song instead.