Al Jarreau & Melissa Manchester "The Music of Goodbye"

Often during our journey in the world we ask God or the universe to send us a sign. This sign is usually in response to something weighing on our hearts. More times than not, we already know the answer -- yet we desire affirmation to justify the doubts littering our head. A friend of mine who lived in New York once dated someone who lived in Los Angeles. As their relationship progressed, she planned to quit her teaching job in Los Angeles and move in with my friend in New York. This decision weighed heavily on my friend because he believed he shouldn't make her sacrifice her career and living situation without the promise of a future (marriage). So my friend dropped $10,000 on an engagement ring. A few weeks later, I flew to New York to meet her at his request. My three-day visit was short in length, but long on drama. There were fights, tears and even threats to not board the plane. After I returned to Chicago, my friend called me and asked the dreaded question: "So, what do you think of her?". Do I tell him what he wants to hear or reveal the truth in my heart? I told him I believed his heart was in the right place, but the two of them needed lots of work and/or counseling before they should consider marriage. At first, he didn't want to hear this but ultimately I think he heard his own trepidation screaming out from the depths of his mind. Within a few months, the two split up...but the story didn't end there.

My friend couldn't stand the loneliness and tried to mediate the tug-of-war in his brain on whether or not he made a mistake. He claimed to constantly see signs that he should reach out to her. One such sign was a billboard for a furniture store that contained her name. With each frantic phone call to me pleading for permission to call her, I tried to convince him the signs were merely that....advertising signs that dotted the highway and not an excuse to pick at a scab. If anything, he chose not to notice the abundance of signs indicating a failed relationship. While he seemed to take my advice, he later admitted to taking numerous red eye flights to see her in Los Angeles. He knew their relationship was toxic, but for whatever reason...couldn't stop. As with my own personal experiences, I figured the only way he could move forward was if (and when) he met someone else.

Finally, that someone else entered his life and he let go of the past. He even pawned the former engagement ring and used that money to take a vacation and, later, to move his life out of New York. Within a year, my friend and his new girlfriend moved in together and things seemed to be falling into place. No matter what became of this relationship, I labeled it a success because it meant the old toxic relationship was finally over.

I wish I could tell you that this story has a "happily ever after" ending, but the truth is the toxic relationship reared its ugly head in the worst possible way and changed the lives of all involved. After hitting rock-bottom, my friend eventually dusted himself off and, after several years, found happiness with a different girl. The two married and live happily on a tropical island far away from Los Angeles...

Styx - "Babe"

The year was 1996 and for the first time in my life, I was in a serious relationship.  Throughout high school, I had a secret crush on a girl but heaven forbid that I do something about it and (gasp) ask her out!  It took the nudging of some mutual friends to force me into action.  Our first date happened one Friday night at the Olive Garden.  I don't remember much about the date save for the fact that we both had a good time and tiramisu was consumed.  Fast forward 18 months: I'm attending Indiana University in Bloomington while she studied at Butler University in Indianapolis.  It was a mere 60 minute drive away, but it felt like we were on separate continents.  Friday was my favorite day of the week as that was the day she would come down to visit.  We would spend the weekend together holed up in my room watching reruns of Three's Company (Isn't that how most college students spent their weekends?!?  Remember, I was quite the catch.).  Those good feelings evaporated on Sundays,  I dreaded that day as it meant that she was going back to Indianapolis and I had to do my eight hours of required reading for class.  During one particular weak moment, I'm driving south on Route 37 toward Bloomington after dropping off my girlfriend when the song "Babe" from Styx played on the radio:

Babe, I'm leaving,  I must be on my way.  The time is drawing near.  My train is going,  I see it in your eyes.  The love, the need, your tears.  But I'll be lonely without you.  And I'll need your love to see me through.  Please believe me,  My heart is in your hands.  And I'll be missing you.

I hated those painful feelings that brewed each Sunday and remember fighting back tears during that particular ride home.  My dad called me that evening and I remember sharing where my head and heart were.  I'll never forget what he said because it took me several years to fully appreciate.  He said, "You know what...you have the rest of your damn life to play house."