The following is an actual exchange between me and a female colleague during our radio station's Christmas party in 2001.
Me: "I don't know about you, but I feel like everyone in our age group is getting married, having kids, or becoming a priest (my friend Ross had just revealed to me that he planned to enter the monastery)."Her: "Totally! Well, except none of my friends have joined the priesthood."
Me: "How about nuns. None of your friends decided to become a nun?"
Her: "Nope."
Me: "Hmmm...well, my circle of friends keeps shrinking and your group of friends keeps shrinking. Maybe we should hang out sometime..."
Her: "I have nice boobs."
Me: (Believing that she just said: "I have nice boots", I looked down at her shoes before replying since she was wearing boots) "Yeah, I like the black ones."
Her: (silence)
Me: "You know, the black ones that go to the knee?"
Her: (silence as she takes a long sip of her drink)
Me: "They're like those sexy black ones that come down to knee..."
Her: (more painful silence)
Me: (I keep replaying the last five minutes of our conversation wondering what the hell just went wrong.)
Her: "I said I have nice BOOBS!"
Me: "Boobs? Wait, you said boobs??? Oh, shit. I thought you said you have nice BOOTS!"
Her: (walks away)