In the fall of 2004, rumors swirled in the building and among those in the business that changes were coming as our station languished around 20th place among listeners. At first, we believed the changes would be to the morning show (we were the third morning show on the frequency in two years), but later learned the company planned to completely blow up the format and launch something different. One Friday, we woke up to news in Robert Feder's column of the Chicago Sun-Times that changes were coming soon. This time the story carried a quote from someone in management to "stay tuned". Despite this, our immediate supervisor dismissed the news as "a rumor" during our daily meeting with him. It was the second time he waved off our questions about our future there and the last thing I remember was him saying, "I don't know where Feder is getting this...". At that point, I remember my brain had enough and involuntarily my hand struck my own face. The sound of it caught every one in the room off guard. Not pleased, my boss glared at me and said, "Yes? Do you have something to say?" Tired of the lies and pretending, I finally unloaded and said, "Why do you keep lying to us? We all know what's happening!"
For the previous three years, I operated on nearly three hours of sleep each night as I poured my heart and soul into creating the best damn Chicago radio show that no one knew (or seemingly listened to). I woke up at 3:39 A.M. and took the CTA downtown to work while grossing a whopping $28,000. Through rain, snow and piercing winds, I trudged to work each morning. It wasn't about the money. It wasn't about being famous. It wasn't about being on the radio. My passion to engage, inform and entertain folks while they drove to work drove me each morning to put together the best show I could. I loved that radio show I produced and would do anything for the two hosts who were like family to me. Unlike me, they both had families, mortgages and bills to pay and losing this gig would affect them more so than me.
After my outburst, my boss yelled at me to get out of his office after questioning me on who I thought I was to disrespect him like this. Confused, I walked back to my office and wondered if I should start cleaning out my desk. This guy lied to us everyday and yet I'm labeled as the bad guy? I was angry, hurt and very scared. Minutes went by as I sat at my desk paralyzed with fear. Finally, after about 15 minutes, one of the morning hosts who was with me at that fateful meeting returned and told me that he thinks he smoothed things over with our boss. He explained to him that I worked non-stop and lived and breathed this show. My dedication to it clouded my acceptance that soon it would all be over--whether my boss wanted to admit this or not. My colleague recommended I go apologize. For reasons I'm still not entirely sure, I grabbed a biography of Paul McCartney and headed back to the office where a few minutes ago I was not welcome.