Gin Blossums "Allison Road"

It was the closest thing to an arranged marriage. My friend Matt's family was very close with another family who had a daughter named Allison. The two families joked (but were also quite serious) that it would be great if Matt and Allison married. For a while, the pair appeared headed that way. Despite living in different towns and attending different schools, Matt and Allison dated one another for quite some time in high school. All the while, I never met her. I heard about her, but never actually saw her. Oh, I should also share that Allison's last name is also the name of a fruit -- so, let's call her Allison Strawberry (yes, it's that ridiculous.) Because she had a made-up sounding name coupled with never meeting her, I believed she was Matt's female version of Joe Glass (a la The Brady Bunch). Finally, during our sophomore year of high school, Matt attended homecoming with Allison Strawberry, and I finally met her. She was a short brunette who was sweet as can be...so much so that I felt guilty for thinking she didn't exist.

Matt constantly invited me to see a band whose members were friends of Allison. The band struggled to find a name that fit and then one night the guys backed their car out of the driveway at Allison's parent's house. Unfortunately for the Strawberry family, the guys knocked over Allison's mailbox. On the positive side, the guys found a name for their band "Allison's Mailbox". Much like the mailbox, Matt and Allison's relationship crashed and burned in the weeks leading up to high school graduation. Thinking it was for the best, Matt broke things off with Allison in the basement of a church. When Matt shared the story, Allison's sadness was overshadowed by one key detail. During his "I think we should break up now and enjoy our last summer before college" speech, Matt struggled to hold in a fart. When he couldn't take the pain (of the fart) any longer, he pushed in a metal chair hoping the noise would overpower the sound of his flatulence. Spoiler alert: it didn't. With tears running down Allison's face, she looked back at Matt, shook her head, and walked away. Also, Allison's Mailbox did not change their name to Allison's Tears or Matt's Gas...