Maroon 5 "Makes Me Wonder"

My college roommate Brian joked that he graduated from the School of Hard Knocks. Brian epitomized laziness and blatantly flaunted it. While the rest of us attended class all day, Brian laid on our couch watching television. His filth from lack of showering led to there being an outline of Brian's body on our couch cushions. Unlike most people, Brian embraced his funk, filthiness and futile attempts at going to class. His secret was: show up on the first day of class to get the syllabus, make a note of when the tests are and only return to class on those days. Somehow, Brian navigated through the prestigious business program at Indiana University. During our senior year of college, recruiters filled up our voicemail each day with job offers for Brian. Unsettling is the kindest word I can use to describe how the other four of us roommates felt. 

Too drunk from the evening before graduation when we all played Family Feud and Brian pretended to be Richard Dawson in an effort to kiss all of our female friends, Brian slept through commencement. While Brian snoozed, his proud parents looked at each passing student at the Indiana University football stadium hoping to catch a glimpse of their son. My dad somehow spotted me among the thousands of other caps and gowns so I'm sure Brian's parents wondered where their son was. Moments before our respective families arrived for the reception at our apartment, Brian frantically barreled toward me asking what the commence address was about -- just in case his parents asked about it. While I shared my thoughts with him, I noticed his gown was on inside-out. Should I tell him, I wondered. Eventually, I did -- but part of me wanted his parents to question why he looked so disheveled.

A few weeks after graduation, we all lost contact with Brian. I assumed he accepted one of the numerous job offers extended his way and moved to Chicago. He never returned to clean out his bedroom -- which was a garage converted into a bedroom. On moving day, my roommates threw all of his forgotten items away -- including a pair of tighty-whitey underpants that had mushrooms growing out of them.

A few months later, I emailed Brian hoping to hear that he was okay and working. I never received a response. It wasn't until our 10-year high school graduation when I learned karma finally caught up with Brian -- apparently he flunked his senior year of college and didn't actually graduate for another five years (!). How he managed to be on the nine-year plan still baffles me today. In fact, I still wonder what became of Brian and hope he's doing ok...

Backstreet Boys "All I Have to Give"

My first *real* job post-college was Classified Sales Manager for a magazine in Chicago.  One of the biggest transitions for me was shedding my night-owl lifestyle and setting my alarm for 6:00 A.M. and then driving 25 minutes to wait to board a train that took another 45 minutes to get to downtown Chicago.  I'm not ashamed to admit I used to crank "All I Have to Give" during my ride to and from the train station.

Spice Girls - "Too Much"

One of my college roommates was named Brian.  For as long as I lived with Brian, he was a wealth of comedy at his own expense.  He thrived on putting in the bare minimum effort to get by whether it be his health, appearance, or schoolwork.  Brian drove a filthy Oldsmobile Achieva (which he referred to as an "under-achieva") littered with empty cans, bottles, and fast food wrappers.  He attended class on the first day to get the class syllabus and then never returned until there were assignments due.  He showered once or twice a week...instead choosing to bathe in cologne.  Brian's room was a garage that was converted into a bedroom.  Instead of living life, Brian passed the day by laying on the couch and watching lots and lots of TV.  At one point, another roommate pointed out that our couch had an outline of Brian thanks to the oil and grease from his skin.  The Spice Girls' popularity was at its peak during this time and Brian often watched their videos on mute on VH-1 (when they actually played music videos).  Brian described the Spice Girls as "mute-TV"--a process of muting the audio while still watching the video.  He claimed that the girls' hotness far exceeded the audio.