Sting "My Funny Friend and Me"

Disney's The Emperor's New Groove didn't exactly light up the box office, but it did make them plenty of cash. Its soundtrack also produced the Sting ballad "My Funny Friend and Me". Much like the movie itself, the song wasn't a huge hit (reaching #24 on the Adult Contemporary Chart).

The Police "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic"

Sting had to convince members of The Police to record "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic". Sting wrote the song a year before The Police and claims the band didn't want to record the song because it was "too soft".

Sting "Seven Days"

Tasked with creating a project for our literature class, I suggested the idea to my classmates Pat and Tony where we would create a radio interview show. Looking for a theme song to the show (tragically called "Dead Poet's Society"), I cued up Ten Summoner's Tales from Sting. After stumbling upon "Seven Days", I knew I had our show's theme song. During the show, I interviewed the tragic main character from Jack London's "To Build A Fire" as well as another character who escapes me some 25 years later. I added some commercials and other comedy bits and proudly turned it in to our teacher, Mr. Osana. I didn't expect Mr. Osana to play our project for the entire class to hear, but, alas, he did. This inspired some other people in my class to do their own version of "Dead Poet's Society". In the end, ours was still better.

The Police "King of Pain"

As a forty-something adult with no criminal history (minus that time when I was 12 and shot off bottle rockets in a park near my home), I still feel a guilty sensation whenever a police car drives past me. My first instinct is: they're looking for me! I'm not sure who or what to blame for my always-guilty-for-no-reason conscience. An equally guilty feeling overcomes me whenever I exit a department store for fear I'll set off the ever-embarrassing "you stole something" alarm. For the latter, I seem to always be that guy who finds that one clerk who forgot to remove the security tag from my newly-purchased slacks. As for the former, this may or may not stem from Halloween 1991. As that night of trick-or-treating began, I literally walked across the street from my house to my friend Matt's house when a police car stopped me. He offered this threatening warning: my description matched that of a neighborhood bully who was stealing candy from other children. The description apparently was: a boy wearing a black coat. GUILTY! After explaining to the officer that I literally just walked about 50 feet from my house and, for that reason alone, I didn't do it. He warned me that he'd be out all evening to keep an eye on things (i.e. "me").

The Police "Wrapped Around My Finger"

While battling the flu one January evening, I could no longer tolerate my sore throat and took action. After lacing up my snow boots, I braved the windy, icy night and headed to a tiny convenience store about three blocks from my apartment in hopes of getting some ice cream to soothe the razor blades in my throat. Upon entering the store, an older Russian man paid me no attention as he sat behind the counter watching a tiny black and white TV. With my head throbbing and nose running, I quickly moved to the large cooler at the back of the store, but found no ice cream. An aisle over, I stumbled upon a small freezer filled with ice cream, but a strip of masking tape stood guard over the freezer door. In my fevered state, my brain couldn’t compute why the freezer was haphazardly taped shut, so I headed to the counter to ask the indifferent Russian. He stammered in broken English something about the bureaucrats at city hall and that he did not have an ice cream license. I stood there confused and dumbfounded.  Was there such a thing as an ice cream license? Seems odd, but then again it's Chicago. Did you have to stand in line at a DMV-like facility to get said license? Did I take too much ibuprofen? The Russian nervously eyed around the tiny store and finally broke the silence.  

“You’re not working undercover for the city?” he questioned me.  

“No,” I replied as if it wasn't the first time I answered that question.

“OK. I sell you ice cream.”

"Alright," I said as my brain questioned whether I really wanted unlicensed ice cream.

As the two of us shuffled to the back of the store, the old Russian mumbled to himself before cautiously lifting the tape off the freezer doors allowing unrestricted access to the frozen concoction. Without any deliberation, I grabbed a pint of Butter Pecan, paid him, and trekked home. A few months later I happened upon the corner store and noticed a “FOR LEASE” sign in the now empty storefront. I can only assume the Chicago Department of Ice Cream Licensing shut him down. 

Sting "You Still Touch Me"

If you were ever stuck on an elevator with one of your favorite musicians, would you say anything? If so, what would you say? Would you sing? That was the premise of a memorable SNL sketch that found Kevin Nealon playing the every man opposite Sting while riding an elevator to the top of a New York skyscraper. After running through the usual pleasantries ("I have all your albums", "I'm a big fan"), Nealon declares his love for the song "Roxanne" and then even sings a few verses (as though Sting doesn't know how it goes). Next, Dana Carvey enters the sketch and can't help but sing "If You Love Somebody (Set Them Free)" followed by Nealon and Carvey both singing "De Do Do Do". Sting eventually leaves the elevator long before the 101st floor and takes the stairs while the duo continue to sing "Spirits in the Material World".

Don Henley "The Boys of Summer"

Imagine a super-group that consisted of Don Henley, Sting and Billy Joel. Actually, it's not so far-fetched. The trio floated the idea of creating a band together. Imagine that text conversation:

Sting "Be Still My Beating Heart"

As a member of The Police, Sting was a rocker. He famously sang "I want my MTV" on Dire Straits signature tune "Money for Nothing". Yet, as a solo artist, Sting showed a more gentle side that could best be described as jazz and/or soft rock rock. Sting wrote and dedicated the jazzy soft rock tune "Be Still My Beating Heart" to his dying mother.

Sting "Nothing 'Bout Me"

One of the forgotten gems from Sting's wildly successful Ten Summoner's Tales album is the final song on the album known as "Epilogue (Nothing 'Bout Me)". While not a huge hit on the radio, the uptempo (by Sting's standards) song sounds like something you'd hear during the credits of a late-'90s rom-com starring Hugh Grant, Greg Kinnear and Jennifer Aniston.

Sting "We'll Be Together"

Listen closely to the end of Sting's "We'll Be Together" and you'll hear lyrics to "If You Love Somebody Set Them Free".

Sting - "If You Love Somebody Set Them Free"

After splitting with The Police, Sting had a very important message in his first solo single: "If You Love Somebody Set Them Free".  He claimed the song was an antidote to The Police hit "Every Breath You Take".

Sting - "Brand New Day"

No matter how many hit songs Sting has, people will always remember him as the guy who allegedly has sex with his wife for hours at a time.  Poor guy.

Rod Stewart - "Your Song"

Two Rooms: Celebrating the Songs of Elton John and Bernie Taupin is an entire album of artists remaking Elton's music.  Tina Turner, Kate Bush, The Beach Boys, Eric Clapton, Sting, Joe Cocker, and a handful of others recorded songs for the tribute.  Rod Stewart's take on "Your Song" became a Top 10 hit on the Adult Contemporary Chart in 1992.

Sting - "Fortress Around Your Heart"

Sting's divorce from his first wife was the muse for some of his biggest hits with The Police including "The King of Pain" and "Every Breath You Take".  During Sting's solo days, he revisited the pain from his divorce and turned it into "Fortress Around Your Heart" -- a Top 10 song in 1985.  

Sting - "Desert Rose"

Sting's "Desert Rose" contained just enough spice to appease people of different countries, cultures, and religions.  The song was a hit in France, Italy, Ireland, The Netherlands, Canada, Switzerland, and Germany (to name a few).

Sting - "If I Ever Lose My Faith in You"

Woodmar Records opened a record store in Schererville, Indiana in 1992 which meant that my friends and I would ride our bikes down busy US 41 to buy the latest music (usually on cassette or CD).  While my friend Matt was perusing the latest Smashing Pumpkins or Nirvana album, I was checking out their selection of "cassingles" (one song on a cassette tape).  Woodmar had quite the bargain: $3.99 for one cassingle or you could buy three for $9.  What a deal!  This took some thought as I already had Dr. Alban's "It's My Life" in hand along with Eric Clapton's unplugged version of "Layla".  I wasn't about to pass up their three for $9 deal, so the hunt continued.  I eventually chose Sting's "If I Ever Lose My Faith in You" as my third cassingle.  This caused my friend Pat not to question my choice of Dr. Alban, but rather Sting.  "Why would you spend money on that song when you can turn on any radio station at any time and hear that song?" he asked.  Good point. (Editor's note: I realized this song was covered in a previous post.  My bad.)

Bruce Hornsby - "Fields of Gray"

Adult Contemporary radio in 1993 featured "Fields of Gold" and "Fields of Gray"--the former from Sting and the latter from Bruce Hornsby.  While Sting's "Gold" dominated, Hornsby's "Gray" quickly disappeared from the radio.  Like many songs on Growing Up Adult Contemporary, this song still turns up on the overheard speaker at CVS.

Sting - "All This Time"

Sting somehow spun a song about his father's death into the catchy upbeat tune "All This Time".

Sting - "When We Dance"

It's not a bad thing when you're rumored to be a guy who is capable of making mad passionate love for hours on end.  For Sting, that rumor has followed him for years.  Poor guy.  But let's focus on why we're here: music.  Sting's decade of solo efforts comprised Fields of Gold: The Best of Sting 1984-1994.  The album also contained two new songs.  One song was "When We Dance"--a meandering ballad that clocked in a second below six minutes.  Let's see: the guy creates songs nearly twice in length as most and allegedly has hours-long sexual escapades...I don't see the connection.

Martin Page - "In The House of Stone And Light"

Even with a voice like that of Sting, Martin Page could not sustain his success that "In The House of Stone And Light" launched.  I remember hearing this song beat to death on both of Chicago's Adult Contemporary stations and wondering why this song saw the light of day.  To Martin Page's credit, after listening to it today (nearly 20 years after its initial release), the song doesn't irritate me as much as it did then.