Genesis "Invisible Touch"

When your girlfriend tells you that one of your friends made her feel uncomfortable at a concert the previous night, what do you do? This likely was my very first #MeToo moment, and I didn't know what to do or who to believe. My friend, "Russell", was one of the first friends who stood up for me in high school. While we weren't best of friends after college, we still kept in touch and would talk each year on MLB's Opening Day. Sometime in 2009, however, things got weird: his marriage was in a free fall. He moved out of his condo and back into his parent's house. That summer, he reached out to see if he could crash on my couch for a few days. Without hesitating, I offered the tiny condo my then-girlfriend and I shared. I was helping a friend in need...or so I thought. He arrived one afternoon carrying a suitcase and a giant trunk. Yes, a trunk...like the ones you'd see in cartoons. Without me saying a word, he immediately went on the defensive: "Don't worry, I'm not moving in. I know you're thinking it!" After expressing with words what my face clearly did not quite convey, we seemed to have an understanding.

Later, I learned Russell wasn't staying with us because he needed a break from his parent's couch. Instead he simply needed a place to sleep off his Lollapalooza high. Yes, in between seeing bands at Lolla, his vacation plans included drinking, smoking pot and breaking my toilet seat (that actually happened). This didn't sit well with me or my girlfriend (pun intended). After one day into his visit, my girlfriend wanted him out so I asked him to leave. At the time, he said he was trying to save his marriage and put his life back on track -- in reality, he was a mess. He was living like an irresponsible 19 year-old while he was 31 with a wife, mortgage and nonsecular job. His words said he was trying to right the wrongs, his actions disagreed. Our friendship changed following that fateful week and never rebounded.

That summer, my girlfriend said Russell would always text her to ask if she wanted to meet up for a drink. He sent the same texts to me -- only he seemed to target her whenever he knew I was working a weekend shift at the radio station. She saw his behavior as him flirting and/or trying to cozy up while I was not around. From my perspective, I saw a mess of a friend who wanted a drinking partner. My suspicion elevated a bit when I learned he was sleeping with another mutual friend. Things went from bad to worse when my girlfriend and Russell bumped into one another at a concert where she later claimed he touched her shoulders and made her feel uncomfortable. While I constantly reminded myself Russell was a friend in need who happened to be using up all the goodwill from his friends, I hit the eject button and wrote him off . I never heard from him on Opening Day 2010 and beyond.

The same day in 2011 when I kicked my then-girlfriend out of my condo (after I found her inappropriately texting a married man at a company she was interviewing), Russell broke the silence. He wrote me a short but emotional plea begging forgiveness for being a "recovering asshole" but added that he never said or did anything inappropriate to my now-ex. Faced with my own world falling down, I started numerous replies to his email -- but each reply ended up in my deleted folder. Weeks turned to months to years and we still have never spoken. While this story's "ending" doesn't quite fall under the "happy" category, I do know from mutual friends that he's officially divorced and now married to someone new. I'm also pleased to hear he worked tirelessly to turn his life around.