Nikki "Notice Me"

Walking past the windows of a local Mexican restaurant, my friends Pat and Jeremiah noticed me sitting inside opposite of my coworker, Nikki. Thinking I was on a date with her, the duo saw an opportunity to embarrass me. They detoured into the restaurant and asked to be seated next to our table. It took a good minute or two to realize the folks seated next to me were my friends. When I introduced Nikki, I stupidly said, "This is Nikki. Her husband is out of town."

"Whoa," the two of them shot back.

"No, no, no. She has a hard time sleeping when her husband is out of town," I again stupidly replied.

"Uh huh. Sure." Jeremiah responded.

"She bought too many potatoes, so I'm gonna pick them up from her after dinner."

"Todd, you call it whatever you want."

Nikki and I worked together and whenever her husband traveled, she'd purposely book things to do because she didn't like staying home alone. On this particular night, we chose to eat at a restaurant nearby her house so I could pick up an excess bag of potatoes she bought. It all sounded worse than it was and it only got worse from there.

When I walked Nikki home, it was so much colder than I expected, so I asked if she had an old hat that I could wear as I continued home. She directed me to a box filled with hats, gloves and scarves. The first stocking cap I grabbed proudly wore the word "SNATCH" across the front of it. The hat was a promotional item for the 2000 movie she received at an old radio job. Believing this would make a perfect ending to the story, I grabbed the hat, Nikki's potatoes and headed for home where I would inform Pat and Jeremiah that I indeed took Nikki's snatch home...